Saturday, October 6, 2012


Oh my! There are simply too many things in this fringed bag!

Her name is Eleanore.

1.  This girl needs her nail varnish

Got this shit at Urban Outfitters for $.99

I am genuinely surprised at the sheer quantities of nail polish I had in my purse.  I'm not sure if it's because I just put shit in there and forget about it, or if it's a genuine addiction to adhesive nail glitter.  Also, those two little twin bottles are SO CUTE and were on sale at the most expensive store in the world. They were marked down from a whopping 6$ to $ .99.  I feel that, sometimes, Urban Outfitters can be your sale oasis in a desert of expensive. 


Okay so that is a straight up LIE.  I do wear makeup, but minimally so if the mood strikes me.  Usually it's like... mascara or something.  But when I do wear it, I'll usually use 1 color, then the next day wonder where that color went (in my bag), shrug, and repeat.  Eventually it all accumulates into this giant pile of powdered, color affliction.  A constant that I do seem to have is my eyebrow shadow, a constant quest to ensure my expressions stay flawless. 

3.  Jesus Christ, if chapstick needed a Queen for their Empire of Moisture I would be a number-one candidate.  

Recently, and other than these pictured, I've found at least 3 different colors

How much chapstick do you need to get through the day?  The answer may differ, but apparently one is never enough.  I found (2) Blistex, (1) Spearmint Chapstick and these two motherfuckers.  
They came from Urban Outfitters along with my Nail Polish for .99cents each.  

 I may not know a whole lot, but one thing I do know is how fucking soft my lips are going to be for the rest of my life.  I'll probably be on TLC's "Hoarders" for this, some day.  Either that or in the Guinness Book of World Records for "World's Softest Lips". Someday, E of M, someday soon.  

 4. For those BRAVE enough to fight me. 



An especially cheap Swiss-army knife I got from Switzerland awaits you. 

I'm disappointed because the writing is falling off.  I really loved that thing when I got it from Europe.  If I ever go back, I'll get another one that's actually worth 10 Euro.  Also I'll have to find another Canadian, because the one I got was absolutely fabulous for as long as he lasted.  I'll have to make sure he doesn't find a girlfriend afterwards, though.  It was so fucking disappointing when that happened last time. 


A Woman's purse is like a black hole.  It will surprise you with anything and everything (including a small army of garden gnomes).  Look at those lovely erasers and Hendrix pin that Haka gave me, emphasized by the broken ACDC keychain I bought from Wal Mart a few weeks ago. The bracelet came straight from my wrist, aged and worn by my young and taut skin. 

I decided to leave out all the gum wrappers in fear that you might sample my teeth patterns and make a clone of me. 

Funny story behind this patch, actually. 
      I went to a store in Houston called Cactus Music, and saw the posters for the new Darkness album.  I begged the lady that worked there for a poster, but was shot down because, since the poster was new, she couldn't give me one.  I guess she felt sorry for me, because after my spiel of sobbing like a pubescent Beatles-fan and threatening to throw up on their vintage music magazines, she suddenly gave me this bad-ass-mother-fucking-kiss-ass patch.  So along with the 30+$ I spent on a Queen shirt and some CDs, I got this lovely patch to show for my hard work.  Now I just have to sew it onto the back of a vest and I will surely be the most excellent girl in the whole school.   

6. It's the PENPOCALYPSE. 

Pictured here is some Pentel .3mm lead for my architect pencil that I don't actually use for architecture. 
Also that is a refill for my ink-brush that actually works quite well.  I'm sure that if used correctly, you could do some pretty sick Chinese calligraphy with that pen. 

Ho-ly shit.  I had so many pens.  This is pretty much a small fraction of the sheer velocity of pens I had in my purse.  I'm pretty sure at some point you wanted to wonder whether it was the purse holding the pens, or the pens forming together an unbreakable steel bond to hold the purse together by it's sheer mass. 

I guess it may be because I'm an artist or a Junior hoarder.  (Also sometimes I'm afraid to use the pens I love most because I don't want them to run out of ink.)  Pretty lame, huh? 

Ahhhhhhhh! Purse times.  I've been meaning to do this for  awhile now.  I'll be sure to keep you folks updated with the wonders of what's inside a bag, because everyone is different.  Like for instance how I didn't have my MP3 player with me.  Maybe it's because I'm paranoid it would get stolen, ever since my phone got stolen last year I was quite angry to the point of never bringing my electronics out in public again.  You guys should let me know if you do this!  I wanna know what's in everyone else's purse!

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