Monday, December 24, 2012


 For normal families, today is the day when your Mother starts freaking out because she has to start cooking for a family you only see once a year.  It's when your Father spends all day sleeping in his easy chair and watching TV. It's when ABC plays reruns of those old stop-motion Christmas specials about Jack Frost and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  It's the day your tiny siblings are stocking up on peppermint, worrying about what kind of cookies that Santa really likes, and running around faster than Whitney Houston on her 8th line of coke.   Today is the day you stay inside on your computer, complaining about the holidays on tumblr and posting ironic Bowie lyrics on your Facebook because, quite frankly, nobody understands you. 

Today is motherfucking Christmas Eve. 

I don't really know what I expect out of Christmas this year, although up to this point has been pretty fucking brilliant.  Like the top of our tree, might I add.  

Christmas is a great time of the year to have excuses to have get-togethers with your friends.  Like mine, who act like meth addicted cokeheads and buy things like condoms (Plot Twist: It was me) and candy bras for White Elephant Christmas gifts.  Oh, youth.  I think if we had booze then a part of the house might have actually caught fire.

I think aside some markers I've already got everything I could ask for. 

Also like most other packs of teenagers, we have tiny white trees topped with homosexual singers and a peeky Norse gods.   

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